Five ways coronavirus has changed dating for now, and possibly forever
Coronavirus has changed a lot of things, and the world of dating is not exempt. Here are five ways I believe the weird and wonderful world of dating is different now and will be in the future.
Art: @artbymaet
Virtual dating is a thing and maybe a good one too
Just like we’ve adapted to holding our meetings and social events online, and wearing nothing but loungewear day-in-and-out, we’ve adapted the way we date. Online dates are now a thing, and apps such as Hinge are suggesting these during early interactions. From experience, it’s definitely not as easy to make a connection, for example by using something arbitrary in your surroundings to get some easy conversation going – ‘isn’t our waiter abrupt’, ‘‘I love this bar’, ‘have you been before’? But let’s be honest, we haven’t got other options and may not do for a while.
A constant frustration of mine in ‘real-life’ was trying to hit my one date per week goal (yep seems a lot but I’m only 28 and single once), was also trying to fit the rest in: friends, work, exercise, 8 hours sleep, healthy financial management. If I can continue to date from my bed once a week, at least on those first online dates, it will definitely be a win!
In case of interest, virtual dating tips I’ve gleaned are: take the time to set up your environment in advance, you don’t want a bad camera angle and lighting to alter your probably already limited virtual dating confidence. If you’re setting up in your room, have drinks nearby. Yep, they’re going to get warm, but this is better than it being extremely obvious how quick you are drinking by going back and forth to the kitchen every 10 mins.
We are better at appreciating what we have
In a time when we don’t have access to the entire single population of London (44.1% of the adult population, apparently), we’ve learned to appreciate those that are in our lives. Whether these are current flames, new conquests sourced from Hinge / Dms / elsewhere or even old ones, we are looking past every criteria we previously had to find a significant other and just getting on with what is already there. For example, I am completely open to the essential working teacher I recently had a virtual date with, whereas previously, I was usually hankering after some sort of finance don (this hasn’t served me well to date, so maybe this is a good thing).
Another (albeit slightly abstract) example I’ll cite is during lockdown I’ve noticed the very good looking man working in my local Mediterranean shop, and now take enjoyment in my slightly-more -than-is-probably-in-adherence-with-government-policy trips to the shop. I’ve only got as far as asking where he’s from so far, although we’ve got time to develop this one. My point being that in my ‘real’ life, I was spending much more time eating Pret/Deliveroo than making trips to my local shops to home cook, and even when I was, my head was so full of my ‘real life’ life that I didn’t even notice who might be there.
We’ve learned we’re better together
Personally, I went into a bit of an immediate meltdown upon entering lockdown, realising I’d no longer be able to just go on a date, or meet someone in ‘real life’ for example on the tube (despite my best efforts to make the latter happen on the Northern Line, it hasn’t yet). I was fine with the notion of being alone, because I quite simply had ample other distractions in my life. However, when you strip that all away, and are faced with the life-or-death vibe a global pandemic brings, I started to realise what is really important, and amongst other things – access to food, somewhere safe and nice to live, being able to love and be loved is right up there.
Being single is great, and if nothing else a lot of fun but in the words of Ricky Gervais you should find what you like and just keep doing that. For me, that is having someone in my life to message about their sh*t and equally someone to hear about mine. I just need to get through enough hours of virtual dates to find that someone now.
Virtual sex is a thing
There seems to be some sort of notion that if you are single and you want to have sex, you either need to go on a date and it be successful enough that you both don’t mind going home together, or go out to a bar/club on a weekend and select some other equally drunk person to go home with.
Alas, the lockdown has posed some solutions to this too. Now I’m not saying phone sex didn’t exist pre-lockdown but it definitely had a seedy reputation. One single friend expressed the ‘hollow, depressing feeling it can leave you with’. But now, with no other choice, sexual activity via FaceTime and other mediums has come into its own, as has the time old ‘nude’. Photos are a little snippet and reminder of real life, now precious and cherished. We might end up with better sex lives after this is all over too.
We’ve had to become friends with our dates
Because the option of a bit of low effort messaging before meeting up for a drink to assess each other in real life is not there anymore, we’ve had to get to know each other first. On my experiences using dating apps during this time, I’ve found the recipients of my likes much more open to engaging in a proper conversion. This will undoubtedly be due to additional time we’ve got to spend messaging at the moment, but I am for one enjoying the openness in the conversations, I certainly feel less disposable, and less just a result of the way I look.
One of my friends has taken her dating friendship to the next level with her and her date both putting £5 into the ‘workout jar’ each time one of them works out during a weekday, to be saved for a real-life date, whenever that may be.
After the initial shock of feeling like I had lost any single life I may have had as we entered lockdown, I am now feeling more excited than usual at the prospect of finding someone and the process to get there. It’s by no imagination the best time, but as we both accept and adapt to the changes at hand, we’ll see there are definite silver linings.
If you have a love lockdown story email us now!
Words by Olivia Samuels
