Three Women by Lisa Taddeo
“It's the nuances of desire that hold the truth of who we are at our rawest moments. I set out to register the heat and sting of female want so that men and other women might more easily comprehend before they condemn. Because it's the quotidian moments of our lives that will go on forever, that will tell us who we were, who our neighbours and our mothers were, when we were too diligent in thinking they were nothing like us. This is the story of three women.”
If this piece of non-fiction is taken at face value, then it can be enjoyed as a glorious sweeping look at female sexuality, desire, and body image through the lens of three individual women. It is only when this novel is perceived to be a comment on female desire and sexuality of all women that it would be a disappointing read, and entirely untrue for the majority. As the title suggests, the book only focuses on three women, which is a clearly an unrepresentative sample, and this is made even more so when you realise that all the women are white and American.
Despite this book being clearly branded and marketed as a book on sex and desire, it is significantly more graphic and descriptive of sex than expected. But it’s not all about sex, there are also gorgeous non-sexual descriptions of women, for example of them putting on their make-up, or shaving their legs. Taddeo gives words and life to the rituals that so many women undertake to make themselves feel desirable, not to other people, but just for themselves.
Three Women is new and original. Taddeo spent eight years of her own life following these women around in their daily lives, living in their towns, talking to them religiously; all in a bid to understand what it was that made them tick, what turned them on, what turned them off, what they thought of their own sexuality. Readers meet Maggie, Lina and Sloane, all with very different relationships, lives and sexual preferences.
“All Lina wanted was to be desired. How did she end up in a marriage with two children and a husband who wouldn’t touch her?
All Maggie wanted was to be understood. How did she end up in a relationship with her teacher and then in court, a hated pariah in her small town?
All Sloane wanted was to be admired. How did she end up a sexual object of men, including her husband, who liked to watch her have sex with other men and women?”
In the introduction and afterword, Taddeo weaves in her own interactions with desire and when she first began to understand that there was a disparity between male and female experience of it. The men she saw and heard about seemed to take what they wanted to fulfil their own desires, and the women simply allowed this to happen, often without thinking of their own desires and how to satisfy themselves – this is evident through the story that she tells of her mother. This story was Taddeo’s mother’s reality every single day for years, whereby a man followed her from her house to work and back again every day whilst masturbating. And she allowed this to happen and didn’t seem to mind. Whilst this may be shocking to read in the modern day, it is important to remember that sexual assault is equally as prevalent nowadays, especially in public spaces.
Perhaps it is because this book was non-fiction, it did fall slightly flat at the end, with readers left wondering what happened these three women? Taddeo is careful to not imprint her voice or her opinion throughout the re-telling of their stories, but she presents the facts in such a way that the themes of self-love, confidence, maturity, disappointment and desire shine throughout. Perhaps the ending is purposefully left so open to give readers a chance to reflect on their own desires, and give time to reflect on your own relationship with sex and sexuality.
Words by Mollie Kate Cohen
